How to win over and date a Japanese woman - Tips and curiosities

Met a Japanese girl and have no idea how to win her over? No idea how dating works in Japan? In this article, we will see all the details on how you can win over and date a Japanese girl.

The tips contained in this article will help not only men to win over Japanese girls but can also help women understand how the mind of a Japanese person works. Girls just need to do a reverse engineering of this article and apply some of the advice written here. Girls can read our article on how to win over Japanese men.

Have you ever wondered why Japanese women don’t shave their pubic hair? Click here to also read our article: Why Japanese women usually don’t shave.

The ultimate guide to winning over and dating a Japanese girl

This is not a flirting guide

I want to make it clear that no human being is the same as another, we do not want you to create expectations and stereotypes with this article. Many end up getting upset with this type of article and guide, not understanding the true intention of the article.

The goal of this article is to specify how dating works in Japan and how you can immerse yourself in Japanese customs and do things in the most correct and appropriate way possible. We use the term win over a Japanese girl to attract more readers, but it is not our intention to support this type of flirting content.

Keep in mind that many Japanese women or descendants living in Brazil do not have knowledge of Japanese culture or language. Do not imagine that we are creating a foolproof guide or saying that all girls are the same.

Sometimes you will need to use standard methods to win over a girl who probably has no interest in Japan, much less in anime and manga.

I do not want you to think that I am stereotyping Japanese women; there is no rulebook or guide to win over specific girls. Still, I need to use the term win over a Japanese girl; otherwise, readers won’t find the article.

Although there are specific cultures, the tips may or may not apply to any girl, regardless of nationality. On the contrary, this guide is about scientific and cultural studies of common behaviors, not generalizations or machismo.

What do you need to know before winning over a Japanese girl?

The first thing you need to know is that many Japanese people are extremely shy. This is the main factor that prevents many relationships from happening. Things happen as slowly as possible in Japanese relationships; perhaps your Brazilian socializing skills can either make you stand out or drive the girl away at once.

If you are only interested in hooking up with a Japanese girl, you better be aware that most Japanese women are delicate and tend to have a good moral. In this guide, you will understand that winning over a Japanese girl requires effort and true love, not just desires.

Japanese culture tends to be extremely shy when it comes to public affection. Things like kissing, hugging, and even holding hands can be a difficulty at the beginning of the relationship due to the couple’s shyness.

Of course, you will find outgoing and shameless Japanese women, just as you will find Japanese women who only have sex after marriage, even though there is no religious law. Let it be clear in your mind that no woman is the same, do not stereotype women just because they are Japanese or because certain cultural customs exist in Japan.

It is impossible to write a guide on winning over Japanese women because even if they follow a cultural pattern, there are still subcultures like moekei, tsundere, burikko, kigatsuyoi, gyaru, and many others. Not to mention descendants and the regional cultural differences of the country. A girl from Osaka is completely different from a girl from Tokyo or Okinawa.

The best and main tip is: Get to know the girl, show interest in her, and be her friend. Only by getting to know each girl individually will you be able to win her over! Still, I hope the tips in this article help you get an idea of what to do when trying to win over a Japanese girl.

Main myths in Japanese relationships

Many people think that Japanese women are cold people, one of the biggest myths of humanity. This certain coldness that some Brazilians believe exists is one of the results of extreme shyness and Japanese customs. The great truth is that Japanese people are taught from an early age to put others before themselves.

It is rare for a Japanese girlfriend to explode and express her feelings and anger. You need to be very observant to know what the girl is thinking about you. When you are in a relationship with a Japanese girl, you will understand that even if she is very angry about something, she will hardly express it. Since this is just a stereotype, you might have the chance to win over a Japanese girl who says everything she thinks.

Another mistake is thinking that you have no chance with a Japanese girl because you are not Japanese. This old tradition of Japanese dating Japanese no longer exists. On the contrary, Japanese women often prefer foreigners precisely because they are not so shy.

Is it true that Japanese parents do not approve of relationships with foreigners? It is true that many parents are conservative, but most of the time, parents look to see if the suitor is properly prepared for a relationship. They usually look at your job, financial condition, customs, and culture. Just be respectful like a Japanese person!

Despite the custom of not showing affection in public, it does not mean that you won’t find it on the streets. It is much rarer than in Brazil, but you will indeed find public affection on the streets like kisses and hugs. This is yet another stereotype that people create about Japan; there is no law prohibiting affection in public.

How to win over and date a Japanese girl – Tips and curiosities

Tips on how to win over a Japanese girl

You should pay attention to traditional tips for winning over a girl regardless of her nationality. Girls have similar characteristics, such as playing with their hair and directing their legs towards you when they are interested. You should always be an observer and try to pick up on these signals in a conversation.

You should consider the famous cliché tips like being elegant, a gentleman, and sociable. You need to put your shyness aside, create opportunities, and make the girl laugh (this is the key). Do not try too hard to the point of scaring the girl; know how to converse and take at least 30 seconds before viewing and responding to a message.

Some Japanese girls like to be treated like a princess, in a sweet and gentle way. Of course, you should not do this in a scary way; do not be mushy and do not overdo it, just do simple things and gentlemanly gestures like opening the door, carrying something heavy, or sending a message asking how her day was. After all, being a gentleman is the duty of every respectable man.

There are things that can make a Japanese girl’s heart race (doki-doki) like rolling up the sleeves of your shirt, taking something from a high shelf for her, and even giving her a pat on the head. Of course, to make these gestures, it is good to have a certain intimacy and do it at the right moment. These are simple gestures you can do to impress any girl.

Getting to know and talking to a Japanese girl

First, be yourself! No one likes someone who pretends to be someone else. Then try to find out what the Japanese girl likes. Try to look at her social media like Instagram to find common aspects and try to apply them in a conversation. Having a basic knowledge of Japanese culture and the Japanese language is essential if you want to win over a native Japanese girl who follows cultural customs.

One of the great difficulties in winning over a Japanese girl is that she will almost never show interest first. Unless she is a Japanese woman in her 30s, where culturally it is the age when some become desperate in search of a husband (I’m not saying this, just watch a dorama), I say from personal experience.

Never try anything in front of other people; some Japanese women simply hate feeling pressured. For example, trying something in front of her friends is one of the worst things you can do. No woman likes to be suffocated or feel uncomfortable, so wait until she is alone to try certain moves.

When talking to a Japanese girl alone, it can be much easier for her to open up and talk about the things she likes or certain subjects that she would hardly talk about in public. Always remember to take it slow; shy women do not appreciate certain gestures or attitudes that are too direct. Trying to rush things is digging your own grave and scaring the girl.

Telling her you like her and inviting her out

You need to exude more confidence, show that you are a decisive man and a friend. Japanese women prefer people close like a friend; perhaps the friend zone is not as dangerous a place as it seems. After you have a friendship, many common conversations, and hints that she is interested, you can try to confess your feelings or invite her out on a date.

Japanese people usually confess their love (kokuhaku) before they start dating or even going out. Of course, to do this, you need to be absolutely sure that you want to express your feelings and find the right moment for it. If you win her over, she may end up confessing her love for you. Make sure to spend a good amount of time with her.

Culturally, Japanese women are extremely polite and may easily accept your invitation for a date. This does not mean that she is interested in you; she may just not want to say no. Others may refuse to go out, but that does not mean she does not like you; she may just be scared and shy.

Some Japanese women wait for the right date to enter into a relationship or have a date. The end of the school year, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas are the main dates for having romantic dates. Just be careful not to invite the girl out without understanding how these dates work culturally.

Other tips about Japanese relationships

Do not think about inviting her to live with you unless you want to get married. If you live together without being married, the parents are probably already preparing for the wedding ceremony, and the girl is likely thinking about baby names. This is a joke, but it’s good to make sure or clarify your intentions in the relationship.

In Japan, girls give gifts on Valentine’s Day on February 14. On March 14, boys must return this gift on a holiday called White Day. The real Valentine’s Day, like in the West, happens on Christmas Eve. Remember to spend it with your girl and not with family.

Of course, things don’t stop there; there are several articles on our site that delve deeper into the subject of relationships with Japanese people. Below we will leave a list of articles that you can read later.

Points for success in a Japanese relationship

I want to conclude this article by making a checklist of points we covered. This way, you can quickly summarize the main points you should keep in mind when winning over and dating a Japanese girl or any other girl regardless of nationality.

Be yourself;
Have common sense, be moderate;
No girl(boy) is the same, adapt;
Japanese women are shy, bashful, and fearful;
Parents are not a difficulty;
Japanese women usually do not express their feelings;
You need to understand and respect Japanese culture;
You need to learn the basics of the Japanese language;
You need to know what she likes;
You need to be patient and take it slow;
Treat the girl like a princess, do small gestures;
Confess your feelings the Japanese way (kokuhaku);
Spend a lot of time with the girl, become a friend;
Do not pressure the girl;
Do not forget important dates;
Do not try too hard to the point of scaring the girl;

To finish the article, I will leave a cool video of a foreigner interviewing Japanese people about relationships and marriages with foreigners. Just turn on the YouTube subtitles to understand what they are saying in Portuguese: