Honne and Tatemae - Understanding the two faces

Have you heard of these two words? Honne (本音) and Tatemae (建前) are expressions whose literal meanings would be, respectively, “true sound” and “facade.”

And where does this apply in the lives of the Japanese? Well, this is, practically, the life of the Japanese in general when they interact with others.

Honne and Tatemae are basically etiquettes that the Japanese use when talking to other people.

Depending on who the interlocutor is, the Japanese will use Honne or Tatemae.

Honne, as mentioned before, means “true sound” in literal translation and is basically when a person expresses their true opinions in front of someone, without holding back. The equivalent here in Brazil would be the famous “straight talk.”

Tatemae, literally means “facade” and is the complete opposite of Honne. Tatemae is basically hiding one’s own opinions in order to please someone of importance or relevance or to avoid conflict situations.

In Japanese culture, it is important to preserve peace and avoid verbal or physical conflicts as much as possible, and the Japanese do everything to avoid any kind of trouble, even if it means lying and pretending to agree with the person they are discussing with.

Influence and pressure of society

It is already known that Japanese society, in certain aspects, operates under pressure, and it is also important to maintain appearances to fit into the demands imposed by it.

Some, unable to cope with the pressure, end up becoming isolated from society like a hikikomori.

Tatemae is important in Japanese society. Emitting sincerity, which often goes against what society considers correct, makes you stand out negatively, and as the saying goes, “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down.”

Standing out is not something that the Japanese usually appreciate.

Honne is only used when a person is with their relatives or close friends and needs to vent.

The Japanese, in general, have the habit of not commenting on their own problems to avoid worrying or bothering others.

But we all know that no one has a heart of ice, and there comes a time when we need to vent.

One of the most common moments for them to express themselves is during festivities like bonenkai and shinnenkai, and sometimes even in a simple nomikai.

Stereotypes of Honne and Tatemae

Those who skim through how Japanese society works tend to think that the Japanese are fake and deceitful people who have the blood of a cockroach.

Without understanding the reasons, a stereotype is created that the Japanese are people who will never tell you anything to your face but will talk about you behind your back.

The problem is that Honne and Tatemae are not general rules; there are Japanese people who care little and say whatever comes to mind.

And this story that “JP is all fake BR better HUAEUAHEUHAEHUAEHUE” is a huge generalization. Many follow this culture thinking of others to avoid causing problems.

The culture of Honne and Tatemae can be harmful, as some end up not expressing their own opinions and accepting those of others.

It is nice to think of others, but we need space to express our own desires and opinions.

To give you an idea, some Japanese learn the English language just to vent with a gaijin, because they know that foreigners do not have this culture of pretending an opinion to please everyone.

What do you think of the culture of Honne and Tatemae? It can be useful at times, but using it too much can cause various social problems that the Japanese already face. We look forward to your sincere comments (Honne) and shares, thank you xD

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